Wake Up

My mind is frozen, I feel the tick tick tick 

The sound of her chair slides across the floor above

I lie beneath her room, counting the days

Now 5

The fear of missing a moment paralyzes me 

Into a statue on the couch, dust gathered

Heart beating, eyes fogging

Letting her go, to a border that will lock shut behind her

I’ll feel joy for her 

I’ll feel gratitude

That decisions and mistakes will be her own

In a better place

I’ll even feel her relief as we turn home

As she goes on—to friends and city, a life unsheltered

Then I’ll wake the next morning to silence above me

Not knowing when the chair will scrape across again

Unfrozen and empty, I’ll slide the statue aside

Wake up

She’ll need to see me move, to want to return

My darling ideal reader, Fi

It’s time to start